- I need to kick this procrastination thing. I should so be doing this online training right now, but instead I am bloggin', myspacin', googlin', and doin' my nails.
- I also need to finish this article. Such a random topic, and it's for class, which of course means it's extra wack.
- Class is wack. period.
- Peanut Butter is the worst. The smell of it makes my stomach turn. Looking at it makes me feel ill. I don't understand how some people can take the squeeze bottles and let that ish slime into their mouths. Ick!
- Pitched a story the other day. Still haven't heard back.
- Waiting is the worst.
- Him. I'm over him. What's crazy is that I finally came to the realization that I was forcing the idea of us being together because it made sense in my head. What a nice story to tell. But it's lame and it's just not there. so...
- Freelancing is great except for the sporadic paychecks. Makes ballin' a lil' tough.
- Kinda pissed at Myspace because it won't let me post, but it's ok because Crave was missing me anyway.
- Errin Haines submitted a question on YBJ recently. Journalists and journaling. I have a kept a journal for forever. I rarely read past entires because many of them are just downright depressing. I'm on the fence on what I want to happen with them after I pass. I totally follow the Oprah school of thought and burning them, but is the SS had burned Anne Frank's diaries or if "Number the Stars" had never been thought and written what would we have?
- Sylvia Plath is the current fascination. I think I 'm just obsessed with other people's tragic (albeit often self-inflicted) lives. Edie Sedgwick was the former fascination.
- I took the color quiz. I'm blue, my favorite color. Pretty spot on:
BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY. They seek to
genuinely connect with others, and need to be
understood and appreciated. Everything they do is
quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and
employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is
their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and
give themselves freely in order to nurture others'
lives.
BLUES have distinct preferences and have the most
controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics
is remarkably strong and they expect others to live
honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy meaningful
moments in conversation as well as paying close
attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and
anniversaries). BLUES are dependable, thoughtful, and
analytical; but can also be self-righteous,
worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls"
who never let go of something or someone, once they
are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere
and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate
them.
- I really miss Marcus. I got the poster size pictures of his cap and gown and one of him on the field. Everyday it blows my mind that he's not here. And when I feel myself taking things for granted....I remember that twin is not here. Humbles you real quick.
- I forgot how uncool rehab is. I love the gym, and love working out...but nothing says WACK like breaking up scar tissue.
- A new memory. Tonight Key Lo Lo told a joke, and couldn't get through it because she was so tickled. I still don't have any idea what the punchline is, but my mom has the best laugh in the world.
- I'm looking forward to this article I'm writing. When I first got the assignment I was less than thrilled because I didn't know where the story was in this, but I see it now and it should turn out nicely. I'll post it for you to take a gander.
- Back to the training that I am dodging like a bullet.
- Today, I am making a commitment to eat better. Starting this red delicious (stripper name???).
- So need to quit this bad habit.
- This Spring Break I vow to spend 4 days of the week at MacGregor Park, the Botanical Garden and MFAH. Three of the gems of the city.
...that's all for now.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Sunday, November 19, 2006
It didn't happen overnight
So, I sit here at a true crossroads, figuring out a way to cope with a tragic loss and trying to figure out a way to get my life to where I want it to be.
See, I have all of these huge dreams, but right now I'm faced with the grim reality of my situation. So, since I crave turning everything I dream of into a reality, I think it makes sense to look at women who have accomplished their dreams. People that I look up to. Of course there are women in my family who have shaped who I am as a woman. But then there are women in my profession who completely exemplify what I want to be as a journalist. They are cool, they are intelligent, and the craftsmen of words. They are leaders, and trend-setters and now the winners of Pulitzers.
Yes, when I grow up I want to be a mix of Michelle Singletary, Robin Givhan, Teri Agins and Sonceria Messiah-Jiles. Sprinkled with a little Jaci Wilson-Reid and Crystal McCrary Anthony. Not only are they intelligent, accomplished and absolutely fabulous, but they all have tests...leaving them with amazing testimonies.
It is so easy to think that people wind up with careers of their dreams by happenstance. But, the reality is that we all must make sacrifices, and we must all work hard for those dreams. People serve as my motivation. When I see other people on their hustle, and when I read about women like these who are where I want to be, it makes me want to work that much harder.
They carry themselves with such superb elegance and class. But, simply put, they are doing the damn thing, and I'm beginning to see that you can do that. You can soooo do that.
So, the real question is: how do you get there? Can you really have it all?
See, I have all of these huge dreams, but right now I'm faced with the grim reality of my situation. So, since I crave turning everything I dream of into a reality, I think it makes sense to look at women who have accomplished their dreams. People that I look up to. Of course there are women in my family who have shaped who I am as a woman. But then there are women in my profession who completely exemplify what I want to be as a journalist. They are cool, they are intelligent, and the craftsmen of words. They are leaders, and trend-setters and now the winners of Pulitzers.
Yes, when I grow up I want to be a mix of Michelle Singletary, Robin Givhan, Teri Agins and Sonceria Messiah-Jiles. Sprinkled with a little Jaci Wilson-Reid and Crystal McCrary Anthony. Not only are they intelligent, accomplished and absolutely fabulous, but they all have tests...leaving them with amazing testimonies.
It is so easy to think that people wind up with careers of their dreams by happenstance. But, the reality is that we all must make sacrifices, and we must all work hard for those dreams. People serve as my motivation. When I see other people on their hustle, and when I read about women like these who are where I want to be, it makes me want to work that much harder.
They carry themselves with such superb elegance and class. But, simply put, they are doing the damn thing, and I'm beginning to see that you can do that. You can soooo do that.
So, the real question is: how do you get there? Can you really have it all?
Monday, November 06, 2006
Getting It Together
Every so often, I make a list of resolves. Things that I want to do. Things that I should do. Things that I will do...to improve myself. Personal upgrading if you will. Well, I have not resolved to do anything as of late, but starve myself and stress myself out. Now that I am in the recovery stages of a break-up, it's time to do re-directing of my plans to help myself reach my goals. Some people wait until each new year. I do it after every relationship (good and bad)...just to make sure I didn't lose myself in that person. So...
1. Read more. I've fallen off, and I need to get back to it because I love it so, as I finish a book I'll come back and blog about it. I'm beginning again with The Souls Of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois. I've never read it, but I keep hearing about how applicable it is to the current state of Black America.
2. Live music. I'm going to start going to more concerts. I'm a music freak, and I especially love live music. This year the only live shows I've seen were Frankie Beverly and Maze (at Essence) and Raheem DeVaughn and Bilal (at the Heineken Red Star Soul Concert). Granted two of the performers are two of my favorites of all time, so the quality definitely makes up for the quantity, but I still want to see more live shows.
3. Bathe. Now now, I shower twice a day, but I'm talking about actual bubble baths. I took one yesterday and forgot how enjoyable it is to sit and soak. The bath oil and salts were scented wild orchid. The Reisling was crisp and the candles were jasmine. What a way to calm myself for the evening and get a good night's sleep. I'm going to do it every Sunday night from now on.
4. Volunteer. I've signed up for Big Brother/Big Sister. I have all of this love in my heart, it is definitely time I give it to someone who might be able to appreciate it instead of wasting it on a shell of a relationship. I do believe that service is the price we pay for living on this earth, and I do not want to live selfishly. My dear friend Marcus has told me that it truly is a rewarding experience, so I'm going to take his word and see what it's about.
5. Yoga/Pilates. Time to get this posture in check. Nothing worse than having your mother lean over to your father and say "I think she has scoleosis." Plus, I'm not as limber as I used to be, so it's time to make a change.
6. Weight. I am going to really start cooking. I need my shape back. I miss my tush. It's time to pt some meat on these bones again. My goal weight is 145 (where I was when I was 19). My current weight is 122. I've got some work to do, but I'm determined. Some way, some how I will get my weight back.
7. Weight Training. Starting Wed. I'm getting back in the gym. Period. Dot.
8. More plays. I love the theatre, and I've never been to the Ensemble (the oldest black-owned theatre in the country), so my mom and I will be going to see plays this year, especially Raisin in the Sun...can't wait.
9. Style. Time to up the style quotient. I've always been stylish, but it's time to dress my age. The days of the jeans and the t-shirt are drawing nigh. The hair is getting longer. If I could just figure out what to do with it.
10. Correspondance. I will start letter writing again. It's a good habit to have, and everyone likes to receive mail that is not a bill or obligation.
There will be more to add to this list.
1. Read more. I've fallen off, and I need to get back to it because I love it so, as I finish a book I'll come back and blog about it. I'm beginning again with The Souls Of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois. I've never read it, but I keep hearing about how applicable it is to the current state of Black America.
2. Live music. I'm going to start going to more concerts. I'm a music freak, and I especially love live music. This year the only live shows I've seen were Frankie Beverly and Maze (at Essence) and Raheem DeVaughn and Bilal (at the Heineken Red Star Soul Concert). Granted two of the performers are two of my favorites of all time, so the quality definitely makes up for the quantity, but I still want to see more live shows.
3. Bathe. Now now, I shower twice a day, but I'm talking about actual bubble baths. I took one yesterday and forgot how enjoyable it is to sit and soak. The bath oil and salts were scented wild orchid. The Reisling was crisp and the candles were jasmine. What a way to calm myself for the evening and get a good night's sleep. I'm going to do it every Sunday night from now on.
4. Volunteer. I've signed up for Big Brother/Big Sister. I have all of this love in my heart, it is definitely time I give it to someone who might be able to appreciate it instead of wasting it on a shell of a relationship. I do believe that service is the price we pay for living on this earth, and I do not want to live selfishly. My dear friend Marcus has told me that it truly is a rewarding experience, so I'm going to take his word and see what it's about.
5. Yoga/Pilates. Time to get this posture in check. Nothing worse than having your mother lean over to your father and say "I think she has scoleosis." Plus, I'm not as limber as I used to be, so it's time to make a change.
6. Weight. I am going to really start cooking. I need my shape back. I miss my tush. It's time to pt some meat on these bones again. My goal weight is 145 (where I was when I was 19). My current weight is 122. I've got some work to do, but I'm determined. Some way, some how I will get my weight back.
7. Weight Training. Starting Wed. I'm getting back in the gym. Period. Dot.
8. More plays. I love the theatre, and I've never been to the Ensemble (the oldest black-owned theatre in the country), so my mom and I will be going to see plays this year, especially Raisin in the Sun...can't wait.
9. Style. Time to up the style quotient. I've always been stylish, but it's time to dress my age. The days of the jeans and the t-shirt are drawing nigh. The hair is getting longer. If I could just figure out what to do with it.
10. Correspondance. I will start letter writing again. It's a good habit to have, and everyone likes to receive mail that is not a bill or obligation.
There will be more to add to this list.
Yes, You Can Teach Me Robin Thicke...
Music Lover. Yes, yes I am.
And the latest editions to my collection (it's getting pretty ridiculous) are as follows:
*India Arie: Testimony: Vol. 1 Life & Relationships -- I have to admit, I was not expecting much. Not to say that Ms. India.Arie isn't gifted, but I just thought it would be a lot of happy music. I bought the CD for Track 6 "There's Hope." There is such truth in that song, but the gem of the CD is the last track "This Too Shall Pass." If I can get religious (which I can because it's my blog), I hear God in that song. Every word was meant for me to hear, and that is what makes great music...she doesn't know me, yet she's speaking right to me. I'm sure I'm not alone.
*Lupe Fiasco: Food & Liquor -- A solid album. I'm especially impressed with the fact that Mr. Fiasco has different stuff to talk about. I have to admit, I am really starting to get tired of the music on the radio (Chicken Noodle Soup anyone???...no, not Campbell's). I pay attention to lyrics, but now it seems that I am actually listening to what is being said. It's really nice to hear someone talk about something real and relatable. Music is supposed to be the most personal shared experience. Lupe has done that.
*Raheem Devaugh: The Love Experience -- Decent soul album. His two singles ("Guess Who Loves You More" and "You") are by far the best tracks on the song. "Breathe," is definitely a song to get you in the mood.
*Justin Timberlake: FutureSex/LoveSounds -- It's growing on me. While he escaped the sophomore jinx, sticking to one-producer has him in a monophonic hole. Borderline boring, if Timbaland wasn't talented this album would be wack.
*Beyonce': B'Day -- Speaking of growing on me. The album has strolled on up to repeat in my car. At first I was sorely disappointed in the lack of creativity, and I did NOT understand all of the screaming...why so angry B? But the more I listen, the better the album gets. Except for "Freakum Dress," she definitely could've kept that. Maybe I'm just a big fan of Rich Harrison's production, but my favorite song is "Greenlight."
*Amel Larrieux: Morning -- I've had Morning for a while, but I definitely needed to give Amel her props forsuch a beautiful album. Check out Track 3 (it will be in my wedding).
Finally, the most recent acquisition...
*Robin Thicke: The Evolution of Robin Thicke -- So surprised. Not expecting this one. Every song on this album is good to great. Everyday I find a new song that I love. Quite a sexy man this Robin Thicke is (his wife is the gorgeous Paula Patton from Idlewild and the upcoming Deja' Vu). Anyway, back to the music. The song that has me (today)..."To The Sky." Inspirational without being pushy, and just the right touch of the Donnie H. influence (almost every soul album has got one). The best thing about this album is that I do not get the over-whelming feeling of pre-packaged Blue-eyed soul that I do with other artists like Jon B. and Teena Marie. Although he did cut his hair and change his image for this album, no part of this seems contrived. Maybe because Pharrell seems to up everyone's cool factor by 10 (at least). Thicke (yes, Alan Thicke's son) is signed to Star Trak -- Pharrell's label.
Now, all I'm waiting for is Jay-Z's upcoming album.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Ok Blogging...Take Two
Starting again.
For selfish reasons really.
Needing an outlet these days.
Feeling like I'm stuck in this place and I hate that feeling.
Haven't felt this way since the Academy.
Time to make a change.
Watch out world.
For selfish reasons really.
Needing an outlet these days.
Feeling like I'm stuck in this place and I hate that feeling.
Haven't felt this way since the Academy.
Time to make a change.
Watch out world.
Friday, May 12, 2006
1. A favorite political track.
Jesus Children of America - Stevie Wonder
2. One of those tracks that make you dance on the dance floor no matter what.
DAAM - Tha Alkoholiks or Bust It Open - Gotti Boy Chris (lol) or CherChez La Ghost/ Push - Ghostface Killah
3. The song you’d use to tell someone you love them.
Love You To the Letter - Anita Baker (loooooooove this song)
4. A song that has made you sit down and analyze its lyrics.
Sucka Niggas - ATCQ (actually the whole Midnight Marauders album)
5. A song that you like, that a two year old would like as well.
I Don't Like The Look of It - Da Backwoods
6. A song that gives you an energy boost.
She Likes To Move - N.E.R.D.
7. A song that you and your grandparents (would probably) like.
Order My Steps - GMWC, In the Midst of It All - Yolanda Adams
8. A song that you really liked when you were 14-16, and still really like now.
Sumthin' Sumthin' - Maxwell (the mellosmooth cut off the Love Jones Sdtk.)
9. A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life.
Try A Little Tenderness - Otis Redding
10. A peppy song that would start the opening credits of the movie about your life.
Glamourous Life - Sheila E.
11. A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess that you liked.
Where Would You Be - Martina McBride, Raining On Sunday - Keith Urban, I Can't Tell You Why - The Eagles, Calm Like A Bomb - Rage Against The Machine
12. A song that you think should have been playing when you were born.
That Girl - Stevie Wonder (yeah, even when I was born suckas)
13. A favorite artist duo collaboration.
When Your Life Was Low - Joe Sample and Lalah Hathaway
14. A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, commonsensically, religiously etc.)
Judith - A Perfect Circle
15. The song that you like despite the fact your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it.
Gimme Dat - Webbie
16. Your smooth song, for relaxing.
Piece It Together - Will Downing ft. Zhane' and Najee or After The Dance - Marvin Gaye or Electric Relaxtion - ATCQ
17. A song you would send to someone you hate or are mad at.
Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up - by Me (my album is coming in stores soon)...jk, um...I don't know, if I'm mad at you I'm not thinking about music
18. A favorite track from an outfit considered a “super-group.”
Still Waters Run Deep - The Four Tops (were they a super-group??? They were big to me)...
19. A song that makes you reminisce about good times with a family member.
Practically everything by Frankie Beverly and Maze...especially "Before I Let You Go"; and "I Gotcha" - Joe Tex (hahaha, I love this song)
20. Your favorite song at this moment in time.
Kick, Push (remix) - Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell, Loose Ends - Sergio Mendes ft. Pharoh Monch and Justin Timberlake, Breathe Me - Sia (I can't choose one of anything)
21. The song to describe your first love.
The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face) - Roberta Flack, Emotional Rollercoaster - Vivian Green
22. A song that gets you in the mood.
Secret Garden - Quincy Jones ft. Barry White, Al B. Sure, El DeBarge and James Ingram, I Want You - Marvin Gaye, The Panties - Mos Def, and Lick - Joi
23. A Song That Makes You Think About People You Miss.
So Far Away - Carole King, In A Sentimental Mood - Duke Ellington and John Coltrane
24. The ONE song that perfectly describes you.
Stardust - John Coltrane
Jesus Children of America - Stevie Wonder
2. One of those tracks that make you dance on the dance floor no matter what.
DAAM - Tha Alkoholiks or Bust It Open - Gotti Boy Chris (lol) or CherChez La Ghost/ Push - Ghostface Killah
3. The song you’d use to tell someone you love them.
Love You To the Letter - Anita Baker (loooooooove this song)
4. A song that has made you sit down and analyze its lyrics.
Sucka Niggas - ATCQ (actually the whole Midnight Marauders album)
5. A song that you like, that a two year old would like as well.
I Don't Like The Look of It - Da Backwoods
6. A song that gives you an energy boost.
She Likes To Move - N.E.R.D.
7. A song that you and your grandparents (would probably) like.
Order My Steps - GMWC, In the Midst of It All - Yolanda Adams
8. A song that you really liked when you were 14-16, and still really like now.
Sumthin' Sumthin' - Maxwell (the mellosmooth cut off the Love Jones Sdtk.)
9. A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life.
Try A Little Tenderness - Otis Redding
10. A peppy song that would start the opening credits of the movie about your life.
Glamourous Life - Sheila E.
11. A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess that you liked.
Where Would You Be - Martina McBride, Raining On Sunday - Keith Urban, I Can't Tell You Why - The Eagles, Calm Like A Bomb - Rage Against The Machine
12. A song that you think should have been playing when you were born.
That Girl - Stevie Wonder (yeah, even when I was born suckas)
13. A favorite artist duo collaboration.
When Your Life Was Low - Joe Sample and Lalah Hathaway
14. A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, commonsensically, religiously etc.)
Judith - A Perfect Circle
15. The song that you like despite the fact your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it.
Gimme Dat - Webbie
16. Your smooth song, for relaxing.
Piece It Together - Will Downing ft. Zhane' and Najee or After The Dance - Marvin Gaye or Electric Relaxtion - ATCQ
17. A song you would send to someone you hate or are mad at.
Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up - by Me (my album is coming in stores soon)...jk, um...I don't know, if I'm mad at you I'm not thinking about music
18. A favorite track from an outfit considered a “super-group.”
Still Waters Run Deep - The Four Tops (were they a super-group??? They were big to me)...
19. A song that makes you reminisce about good times with a family member.
Practically everything by Frankie Beverly and Maze...especially "Before I Let You Go"; and "I Gotcha" - Joe Tex (hahaha, I love this song)
20. Your favorite song at this moment in time.
Kick, Push (remix) - Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell, Loose Ends - Sergio Mendes ft. Pharoh Monch and Justin Timberlake, Breathe Me - Sia (I can't choose one of anything)
21. The song to describe your first love.
The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face) - Roberta Flack, Emotional Rollercoaster - Vivian Green
22. A song that gets you in the mood.
Secret Garden - Quincy Jones ft. Barry White, Al B. Sure, El DeBarge and James Ingram, I Want You - Marvin Gaye, The Panties - Mos Def, and Lick - Joi
23. A Song That Makes You Think About People You Miss.
So Far Away - Carole King, In A Sentimental Mood - Duke Ellington and John Coltrane
24. The ONE song that perfectly describes you.
Stardust - John Coltrane
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Conflicted No More
Ok, so I give in.
I decided to start blogging again. WHY did I stop in the first place?
There was a time when I was blogging and loving it. Talking about whatever I felt like.
But I started feeling conflicted.
I mean, being honest and writing about the real in my life felt great, as Mr. Marcus said, it was often therapeutic. Still, sometimes I would wonder if I was delving into to much of my business.
Moreover, I had an interesting discussion last summer with a fellow DJNF'er who had some ultra-conservative views about blogging. Bottom Line: he was a pussy...too scared to leave a comment on our little group blog. But he got me to thinking about why blogging could be potentially harmful to your career...blah, blah, blah. With the rash of reporters and other random people getting fired for opining on their blogs, I got a little paranoid...and I don't even have a career yet. But like dear Dave Chapelle said "What's a Black man (or woman, I submit) without his (her) paranoia?" Yeah, I was being a punk...I can admit it, lol.
Plus, maintaining a blog....well, I just wasn't making the time. The original Soapbox was in dire need of some tlc, and like my prom date on prom night...it wasn't gettin none.
So I deleted my blog. Got rid of all my posts. Read other people's blogs. Lived vicariously through my friends.
But "f" that. I have stuff to say. And like before, I'm writing for me. Just not necessarily about me allllll of the time.
So bam, here it is. My Soapbox. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to agree, lol. Feel free to disagree, lol. Just always feel free to visit, and always feel free to comment.
'Til the next time,
Peace Out Cub Scouts.
I decided to start blogging again. WHY did I stop in the first place?
There was a time when I was blogging and loving it. Talking about whatever I felt like.
But I started feeling conflicted.
I mean, being honest and writing about the real in my life felt great, as Mr. Marcus said, it was often therapeutic. Still, sometimes I would wonder if I was delving into to much of my business.
Moreover, I had an interesting discussion last summer with a fellow DJNF'er who had some ultra-conservative views about blogging. Bottom Line: he was a pussy...too scared to leave a comment on our little group blog. But he got me to thinking about why blogging could be potentially harmful to your career...blah, blah, blah. With the rash of reporters and other random people getting fired for opining on their blogs, I got a little paranoid...and I don't even have a career yet. But like dear Dave Chapelle said "What's a Black man (or woman, I submit) without his (her) paranoia?" Yeah, I was being a punk...I can admit it, lol.
Plus, maintaining a blog....well, I just wasn't making the time. The original Soapbox was in dire need of some tlc, and like my prom date on prom night...it wasn't gettin none.
So I deleted my blog. Got rid of all my posts. Read other people's blogs. Lived vicariously through my friends.
But "f" that. I have stuff to say. And like before, I'm writing for me. Just not necessarily about me allllll of the time.
So bam, here it is. My Soapbox. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to agree, lol. Feel free to disagree, lol. Just always feel free to visit, and always feel free to comment.
'Til the next time,
Peace Out Cub Scouts.
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